I know I’ve talked about homemaking and what a blessing it is. And it really is, it’s an amazing career to support your family and build them strong.
I’ve never loved doing anything more and the women I know who have decided to focus on homemaking as a career and not as a prison sentence, they’ve really enjoyed it. There is something amazing about raising a family, embracing femininity, and placing God before yourself.
Homemaking Is Hard
Fighting hard for your family, for yourself, and more importantly your faith is what your life becomes. And let me test you, it will all be tested.
Which brings me to my next point.
People rarely talk about the harder side of homemaking. I’ve briefly gone over it, but I don’t want someone to decide to do this and then be blindsided by the rough reality and the tougher side of homemaking. Most people, including a lot of biblical homemaking blogs, don’t talk about these things and I think they need to be talked about.
While rewarding, homemaking is hard. It’s really hard sometimes.
Homemaking Can Make You Feel Depressed
It’s hard to keep a schedule, you’re tired, sometimes you’re sad, depressed, feel underappreciated, under the weather, and lonely, and sometimes your well is dry.
This may not be the case for everyone, but this is what I have faced and sometimes these things knock me on my butt, but I’ve gotten better at fighting through these feelings.
We Give Too Much
What happens is we give, give, and give and we begin to feel worn out. Our wells run dry, and then those awful negative feelings start bubbling up. We forget to take care of ourselves or we are too scared to ask for help or what we need.
I’ve been there, tired, wore out, cranky, resentful, lonely, feeling unloved, unappreciated, undesirable.
And the worst part is, my immediate family is super supportive. They’re always been thankful for the things I do. They don’t take me for granted, and they do love me, so there is no reason for me to feel that way, right
We Ignore Our Needs
Well, I have a tendency to not expect things from people. Which is kind of good. We shouldn’t do things for the sake of expecting people to do things for us. However, we all have needs. We all have certain ways we need to be loved.
My problem is, I will voice my needs once I get to the end of my rope. But then I backtrack and say, “No it’s okay, no it’s okay.” I let people take and then disregard my own feelings when I need something in return.
And then what usually happens is I feel isolated from my husband, friends, then I have a bad day that ends in tears and usually on my knees crying to God.
God Can Refill Our Wells
Then I spend time with God, usually through prayers, letters, and the Bible and my well starts getting restored. I don’t feel so awful anymore.
Here is the thing, happiness is fleeting. It is nothing more than a small taste of heaven, contentment, even in hard times, comes from joy. Joy is something special, something amazing.
I harp on joy a lot, but I think it is so important. Life is more vibrant, fulfilling, and joy brings hope. But joy comes from faith. Joy is something you have even when the world looks bleak and desolate.
So when we aren’t focusing on our faith and our relationship with God, we lose sight of joy and hope.
We feel empty, far, void, and while we may want our spouses and friends to fulfill our needs and love us the way we want to be loved, we can’t rely on others to do so. That may sound pessimistic, however, it is true.
Don’t Expect Others To Fulfill Our Needs
People can’t fully love us, not like the way God can. Until you embrace the love of God and accept it, you can’t fully love people. Even then, our love doesn’t compare to God’s love. We are selfish lovers. Even me.
When our well is empty, we need to turn to the one who can love us, really love us. The only one who is always there for us, protecting, and looking out for us. He is the only one who can refill our well, really fill it, and not superficially.
And after I start to focus on my relationship with God, I’m not only feeling better, but God reminds me to rest. To let go of my burdens and give them to Him, to rejoice in life, to sleep, and take time to enjoy life.
And the cycle continues! I’m sure some of you are wondering why I don’t demand people to change so I don’t feel that way to begin with. Well, to be fair, a lot of it isn’t them, it is me, and secondly, you can’t force people to change.
You can voice your problems, concerns, and feelings, but in the end people will only change if they want to change.
I know I went in circles, but going back, homemaking is hard, and can be overwhelming. We give, we give our all, and a lot of times we wear ourselves out.
Homemaking Is Worth It In The End
But is it worth it in the end?
I think so, seeing my family and friends happy and healthy makes it worthwhile. Seeing them smile, to succeed, to make an impact on their lives and make life easier for them is worth it. Showing them God’s love through actions and trying to love them with a 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 love, is worth it.
