After a while, relationships can get a little dull conversation has died, we are no longer interesting, we get swept up in life. We get into a rut, we get comfortable, and stable. Which isn’t bad, but at the same time it is.
We don’t want to be in unstable relationships obviously, they’re unhealthy. However, many of us get in a stage where romance kind of dies.
Conversation Dies Because We Are Tired And Overwhelmed
We can spend time together, be in the same room, but not really be together if that makes sense. Computers, phones, games, TV and the likes tend to clutter our lives. Add in kids, stress, work, house work, volunteer work, friends, family, we get tired and lazy.
Sitting at dinner or on the couch you may find yourself not really knowing what to say. It’s funny, you can be with someone for so long and then have nothing to say anymore. Cuddling can seem foreign or one sided, and what about sex? It just gets dry.
Marriage is work. A LOT of work. It isn’t a fairy tale or rom com where passion overflows like a river all the time, you have to work for it to keep it exciting.
We stop dating and flirting and chasing. It’s sad actually, it’s a terrible mentality many people get into. They’re married, they beat the game, that’s it. Why put more effort into it if you know they’re here for the long haul?
That mentality is actually super toxic and what kills relationships. I’ve said it before, I know.
Little Changes Can Give You Something To Talk About
It isn’t hard though to make little changes to make things interesting. Conversation for example is easy. Sure, you know each other’s stories, you’ve heard them a million times and probably do most things together. No wonder you don’t have anything to talk about.
How do you fix that?
Learn. Learn about yourself, learn about the world, learn about hobbies. Sometimes we need to step away from the mind numbing silly stuff we consume visually, and pick up some books or e-books.
I have made it a point to learn at least one thing a day. It may seem like a lot of work and can sometimes time consuming. Especially when you’re tired and want to watch some kind of mine numbing silly TV show.
If you’re not a reader then pick up a hobby. Learn to dance, sew, crochet, knit, paint, draw, weave, workout, puzzles, etc.
Go spend time with family, friends, or volunteer in your community. There are so many things to do!
Having Your Own Space Breeds Interesting Conversation
Having your own space is important in a marriage. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute with your spouse. Just because you have a family doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute with them or doing stuff for them.
It’s healthy to have your own time to grow as a person. People aren’t meant to stop growing. We are ever growing and ever changing, and when we hit a wall because we get lazy, we lose ourselves.
Find yourself, grow, and you’ll soon find you’re more interesting than you thought. You’ll find that the time apart will make you fonder of one another, and you’ll find you finally have something to talk about.
And not just the mundane stuff, but when you find something that you’re passionate about, you light up in a special way and you’ll glow when you talk about it.
We Inspire Our Spouses When We Start To Thrive
The best part is, we tend to mimic our spouses. Once your partner sees you doing your own thing, they may be inspired to do their own. Even if they don’t, I’m sure they’ll be excited to see you light up again and appreciate the conversation.
My husband gleams with pride when he sees my half-hazard sewing projects and crocheting projects. He likes hearing about the random facts or about the things I read. Sometimes we have debates about things. It’s healthy, and it keeps things interesting and keeps us close.
There is so much more in this world than work and kids. Learn about it and talk about it. Life is an adventure, and you and your partner are in it together. How can you have an adventure together if you can’t even talk?
Don’t get me wrong, spending time in silence together can be intimate and nice too. But relationships don’t have to get stagnant and they shouldn’t. We just aren’t taking care of ourselves or putting effort into it. But it is so worth it in the end.
