Have you ever dealt with emotional burnout? It’s like a mix of anxiety, depression, and just running on E with nothing left to give. I usually say “my well is empty.” Well, I’ve been dealing with emotional burnout lately and I wanted to share a few things with other homemakers and caregivers who may not be able to recognize the signs, and maybe rant a bit?
Acknowledging Emotional Burnout
So, my husband and I have had a rough few months. Not all of it has been bad, somethings have just been busy, or added extra stress on us.
- My husband’s work is demanding and has been demanding A LOT of his time lately.
- His family came for Thanksgiving. I was preparing all of that for weeks, which was a lot because there were 10 people here almost a week. It was a blessing though.
- We had 1 neighbor who had some issues I won’t disclose, but it put us in a dangerous position where we were manipulated. Which is never a good feeling.
- We had a friend who lost loved ones that needed love and comfort.
- We had another neighbor who something unfortunate happen that again, I won’t disclose. But while we were trying to help, again got manipulated.
- My husband got hurt at work. He is mostly okay now!
- His truck has been in the shop for weeks.
- My car completely died and had to be junked. So we currently have no car.
- And I’m having some ongoing problems with my health, probably due to stress, but it’s been rough.
- The cost of living is ridiculous between rent going up, groceries going up, everything going up and hyperinflation.
- Work is a lot busier for me in general. Which is a blessing, but it is also mentally taxing.
And the list actually is longer, but I don’t word vomit all of our problems. Those I think these have been the most pressing.
Denial About My Mental and Physical Health
Now, I’m not going to go into a lot of details of everyone’s problems, but needless to say I was trying to take care of everything, with no break, no time, and pouring out every ounce of love and comfort I had. I wanted to try to fix everyone’s problem’s and pain while ignoring my problems and needs.
In all of this, I had fallen away from reading the Bible and praying everyday. Sure, I’d say a quick prayer of “God get me through this” or “God give me strength” or “Help me bring them peace through You.” But I never really got on my knees in all of this unless I was on my knees crying asking “why”.
The funny thing is, I was talking to a friend about how tired I was all the time and they mentioned “Take care of you, you don’t want to get burnout.” Of course I brushed it off with how strong I was and it would be fine, but they reminded me, “Be aware you could already have burnout and not realize it.”
They were right looking back. But it would be about 2-3 more weeks of coasting before I actually acknowledged that I was indeed burnt out.
What Is Emotional Burnout?
I talked in another post, The Harder Side Of Homemaking That No One Really Talks About, that being a homemaker is hard and that there are things that no one talks about. And emotional burnout is one of them.
But what is emotional burnout?
It’s essentially when you have dealt with stress for prolonged periods of time, without dealing with it or taking care of you and your needs, which leads you to exhaustion physically, mentally, emotionally, and yes spiritually. You are tired, drained, and can no longer keep up with the demands of life. You lose motivation, drive, passions, and are essentially an emotional roller coaster coasting through life. Emotional burnout essentially affects how we behave and function on a day to day basis.
You feel stuck like there is no way out of these situations that put you here.
So, What Happens If You Don’t Deal With Your Emotional Burnout
Not taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself once you’ve hit this level of exhaustion can have negative effects on your body and your life and it will take longer to recover the longer you go without acknowledging it and doing something about it.
Changes In Hormones
First and foremost, long term stress can actually affect your hormones. Long term stress releases a continuous amount of stress hormones. This will create higher blood pressure, higher heart rate, use up more of your energy, increase your blood sugar levels.
It keeps you in a constant flight-or-fight situation which is absolutely exhausting.
Not to mention, the disruption of hormones can create reproduction, immune, and even digestive problems.
Other Physical Ailments Burnout Can Cause
Too much cortisol can also affect your sleep, cause you to gain/lose weight, and cause adrenal fatigue.
I mean the list is actually extensive from lack of libido all the way to balding and decreased bone mineral density with many ailments in between.
Don’t forget about heart palpitations and just general mood swings as well.
Too much stress is very bad for your body.
Problems Interacting Socially
Emotional burnout will affect the way you interact with the world as well. You may not be able to interact as well with others?
Why?
Because you have nothing left to give. And the fact that you have given everything to them and them still trying to take more can lead to certain negative feelings towards those people.
When you deal with those certain people you can feel:
- Apathy
- Lack of Motivation
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Confusion
- Low Self-Esteem
- Guilt
- Anger
- Resentment
- Hopelessness
- Sadness
And the thing is, it is okay to feel these things. These are clues that something is wrong. Because we know we don’t want to feel this way, and God didn’t create us to feel this way. So, how do we fix it?
How To Deal With Burnout
Well, acknowledging it is the first step, which can be hard sometimes, especially if you’re prideful…something I deal with.
Stepping Into Faith
But my first suggestion is to turn back to God. We may be angry or feel like He isn’t there, but He is. He didn’t leave, we did. A relationship with God doesn’t mean we won’t deal with hardship in this life, but rather that we have a standing stone in our lives when we do.
We have something in our living room that says “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you.” And this includes the stresses and problems in life.
But when we take the weight of the world we are doomed to fail. Jesus already took up the weight of the world, this world is temporary, but when you step away from God because of troubles, you’re taking the world and dumping it on your shoulders saying “I don’t need help God.”
Even if you read 1 chapter a day, just read a chapter. I would suggest Psalms, Job, and Matthew. And when you’re done, get on your knees and pray. Thank God for the blessings, for His love, ask for Him to renew you, and put on the full armor of God!
Once you start talking to God you’ll find your well begins to refill and it may help you in the end.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
I have a habit of closing myself off when I’m burning out. Yes, I’ll complain “I’m tired” but I won’t really talk to anyone. Talk to you God, talk to your spouse, be open and vulnerable, even if you feel like you can’t. You may feel alone, but oftentimes you’re not.
I tend to do that too when I’m burnt out.
When we are burnt out we tend to listen to the voice of the enemy when he tells us:
- No one loves you.
- No one cares about you.
- If they did they wouldn’t be doing this to you.
- They’d see that you’re struggling and already help.
- Only you can take care of everything.
- You have to suck it up because everyone relies on you and no one else.
- Everyone will think you’re weak.
- Others have it worse, don’t be selfish.
- Being selfless means ignoring yourself.
- God is letting these bad things happen to you.
These things are not true and are lies. Don’t listen to them, these wicked sweet nothings are dragging you down the hole like weights.
Even if people can’t fix it, having someone listen is sometimes what you need.
Identify The Problems
Sit down and start identifying the reasons you’re feeling burnt out. Whether it is a long list or a little list, just write them all down.
That way it isn’t a whirlwind anymore, but you can look and see oh okay, I feel this way because of this, or this.
Even if it seems silly, if it is bothering you then it gets written down. And sometimes while you’re writing down the small things, you actually learn what the big things are that are bothering you.
Dealing With The Problems
Once you have your problems written down, start figuring out healthy solutions. Pray earnestly about each problem, and even talk to your spouse about them, but to every problem there is a solution.
And the solution may not be pretty. Trust me. There is a solution to a problem that makes me not look great, and it left someone angry at me, but I had to set boundaries. I prayed hard and God told me enough. You did what I asked and now it is time to let that person rely on Him. My sympathy was keeping them from God’s love and plan and that set me up to be manipulated and for them to fail.
The solution isn’t always great feeling, but sometimes boundaries and saying no more, is what we have to do.
And sometimes the solutions will be easy. I like it when the solution is easy.
Taking Time For Yourself
I hate taking time for myself. I always feel guilty and feel people will judge me and think I’m lazy or weak.
But if you aren’t taking care of yourself and are burning out, you’re not good to anyone else either. Your relationships and work will suffer.
Stress can kill you if you let it.
Why Am I Sharing About My Emotional Burnout?
So take time to work out, do something you enjoy, or you know what, sometimes take some time to yourself to sleep and sit in silence can make the biggest difference.
I didn’t write this for pity, and in a way it’s embarrassing for me to write this. Especially when I know others suffer more. But I wrote it because it is the holidays and because I think it is something that us as women, and mothers, sisters, wives, and more importantly Children of God need to acknowledge.
You’re not broken or weak for feeling this way. You just need time with the Father, time for yourself, and this is one of those times, most hate admitting, that you need someone to take care of you. I know we can’t all have something to take care of us the same way to take care of them, but little help when you’re in a state of burnout can mean the world.
Pray, read your Bible, and take care of yourself everyone. We are called to spread God’s word, love, and help people, but we can’t do that if we’re angry balls of stress.