Marriage is not a prison sentence. It surprises me that so many people feel like marriage is a prison sentence, and honestly, it makes me sad. But it really hit home after I saw a video on Tiktok and I just had to say something. So, I say again, marriage is not a prison and the fact that younger people, and older people, think so, shows there is a serious problem in our society.
Marriage Is Not A Prison Sentence
So, I was watching Tim Pool and they played this video. And it was gross and heartbreaking to me. This girl made a video showing that marriage is a prison and that she would be miserable if she got married. Every time she put the engagement ring on she saw a vision that made her unhappy before she ran away.
Take a look at the video and we’ll discuss it a little further.
Video: Tiktok Video Showing That Marriage Is A Prison That Will Leave Women Miserable
The Problem With This Video
There are a few problems with this video that I want to point out. The first problem is the video turns an engagement into something terrible. Getting engaged is a beautiful and wonderful moment and this video makes it seem like the beginning of a nightmare.
The second problem is the images in these “nightmarish” visions. It shows her cleaning, cooking, having children. And the misery on her face grows and grows. So, what’s the problem?
Marriage Is Failing Because Too Many People Are Seeing It As A Prison Sentence That Has No Benefits
The problem with this is that it is anti-family and anti-marriage propaganda. We’ve been told for years we don’t need no man that we should do what we want when we want. Hedonism and nihilism will make us happy, right?
Over 40% of young men no longer want to get married and more and 60% of women are not able to find suitable husbands anymore. That’s a problem. But beyond that, people don’t see the benefit of marriage anymore, especially men since the courts are stacked against them if anything goes wrong.
Marriage Seems Like A Prison Because Of The Movies And Because Of Modern Society
Marriage in movies are 1 of 2 things. Either blissful passion with very few problems or a boring or dangerous nightmare in which there is no escape. There is very little in between. Top that view with the idea that we should be able to do what we want when we want and our partner still give us 100% really destroys marriages. On top of all that, very few people can handle conflict anymore, mainly because they were never taught how, and so they give up when things get hard.
So, what’s the point of marriage? Is there any reason to get married anymore? Yes.
Reasons Marriage Is Not A Prison And Why You Should Still Get Married
1. Marriage Is A Special Oath Before God
Marriage is something that bonds a man and woman before God. You are making a vow before God to love each other through thick and thin, health, and sickness, etc. A vow before God should be taken very seriously. This vow to God should make you want to do your best and should show you that in the front of your marriage should be God.
2. You Become One Flesh When You Consummate The Marriage
And when people consummate the marriage they become one. “The two become one flesh.” The context was different from marriage, but the message is the same. When you’re with your husband or wife you are one flesh. Not only that, but you now have a “soul tie.” This post will go into it more, but once you have sex with someone you are tied to them. Their problems and feelings you can feel more intimately, you have desire for them now as well. And that desire should be directed at your spouse. Because all the bad comes with the soul ties. So if you’re out sleeping around, all that bad is gonna be latching onto you and following you.
3. You Have Someone You Can Rely On And Can Help You
Life is hard. And we are going into even harder times. Having someone beside you to walk through the good times and bad times is such a blessing. However, it takes work. You can’t expect that person to always be there if you never show up. But it’s nice when someone is there to make you feel safe and loved. You will have some emotional support and stability which is important!
4. Children Thrive With A Mom and Dad That Are Both Attentive
God made everything. And because He made everything He has a specific way that everything works. And if you follow His guidelines things tend to work smoother. But because we live in a fallen world, it won’t be perfect. That being said, there needs to be a mom and dad who are both paying attention to the child/children. Mom is the loving nurturing side and dad is the loving parent that prepares kids for life with a gentle toughness. Both mom and dad have an important part to play in a child’s life especially when it comes to gender roles. Plus, a healthy relationship will show kids what they should strive for as well. It helps you build a sense of community. Families are a small community after all.
5. A Healthy Marriage Is Rebellion
Never in my life did I think I would utter those words, but a healthy marriage and family is rebellion. The West’s birth rates are falling. People aren’t getting married. And videos like the one above are rumored to be a psyop from another country. Whether or not that is true, I don’t know. But it isn’t just other countries. Our country does not want healthy thriving families either. Why? If you have healthy strong families, then you have healthy strong communities working together for a similar goal. And when that happens you have a strong society. Guess what is hard to control? A healthy society. There is a reason they want you fat, sick, single, confused, miserable, and at each other’s throats.
6. Marriage Helps 2 People To Nearly Complete Each Other
If you do it right, and you don’t rush it, and get to know the person and therefore marry the right person, you will have someone that will help fill the voids in your life. Grant it, God is the only one who can totally fill that void, but God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. We were never meant to be alone so God created man and woman to compliment each other. And when men take up their masculine mantle and women take up the feminine mantle, they compliment each other.
7. Marriage Makes You A More Selfless Person
I know, this seems weird. But marriage is all about work, compromise, and giving. Grant it, you should also be taking. But love is a choice and is work. And to have a good marriage you have to constantly work at it or it fades. Like a garden! If you don’t take care of a garden you’ve grown, what happens? It dies and gets overgrown. You can always clean it up and regrow everything, but it takes a lot of work. And so marriage helps you get away from I, I, I, and me, me, me, and helps you focus on giving. Marriage brings responsibility which is great for forcing change within yourself.
8. Marriage Gives Tax Benefits
If we want to look at marriage from a monetary value, then yes, marriage does give tax benefits as does having children.
9. Good Marriages And Families Create Change
We are all praying for change I feel like. Most people are struggling to survive. But strong marriages and families help create that change. History swings like a pendulum. Kids will see how things are and rebel against it. It happens with every generation at some point or another despite propaganda. And if you want to see change in the country, then you have to rebel against the norms and follow what God intended. Teach children which path they should follow and walk on that path together as a family. I promise that light will shine through any darkness.
10. Marriage Is Good For Your Health
Did you know that a study shows that unmarried people have a 42% higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease? They’re also have a 16% higher risk or developing coronary artery disease. Married people also live longer, especially married men.
11. Marriage Is An Adventure
Life gets tedious and boring. And many people feel that way about marriage and want to keep 1 foot out the door by not marrying. But marriage is a wonderful adventure. Living with someone is a challenge, life is a challenge, there are ups and downs and you have someone to go through it with. Think of the movie Up, when Carl thought their adventure book had never been filled out. But Ellie filled it up with the adventure of the life they had together.
Marriage Is Only A Prison If You Allow It To Be
Before anyone gets mad, I understand circumstances happen. Sometimes someone gets hurt, there is a abuse, but I’m talking about the average married couple. Marriage is only a prison if you allow it to be. Doing dishes, cleaning, cooking… you do that already for yourself, so why does it bother you to do it for someone else (referencing the video)?
It’s okay for you to work for a man in a workplace because money makes you independent. Your worth is based on money? Why not work for your family?
I know a lot of people have to work to keep a household afloat thanks to the 2 income lie (shoved down our throats for decades before) and nowadays inflations. But the focus on the family has shifted. We are too tired for our husbands. Kids are being raised in school and online. We want shopping and vacations and that is what gets us through the week. The thought of something better.
You can work and be a homemaker. I work from home, but my focus is always my family and home. I think it’s time to start building up lives that don’t feel like prisons, throwing off these archaic and damaging lies we’ve been told about independence and all that non-sense and start building up thriving families.
But that’s easier said than done, right? How do we even start the process of repairing our marriage or getting married, raising kids, taking care of a home? Well, let’s start here.
Ways To Make Your Marriage Work
I think the Bible gives us a pretty good guideline for how to make a marriage work and not feel like prison, but I have some other ideas too.
1. Put God First
God should come first in everything. Nothing succeeds without God. And that includes marriage. God tells us what husbands should do and what wives should do. God gives His blessing to those who follow Him.
2. You And Your Spouse Come First Before Everyone and Everything
People have a tendency to put kids, work, immediate family, friends, hobbies…everything before their spouse. And before anyone straw mans it, when I say putting kids second means they don’t run the house, they don’t rule your lives. Without you they have nothing. When they grow up and move out they’re not going to be there for you, but your spouse will be, God willing. That’s not to say if there is a famine that you don’t feed your kids first obviously, I’ve heard this argument. But the order goes God, you and your spouse, kids, family, friends, work.
3. Love Is Kind
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Bible Gateway
We have to remember this. We have to remember what love is. Love is selfless and work. We have to be kind to our spouses, respect them, and forgive them.
4. Forgiveness Is Key
We have a tendency, especially women, to hold grudges. We can recall everything wrong our husband’s did easily and tend to use it against them. That’s terrible and that’s not love. It is important that a husband and wife constantly need to be loving and forgiving. It may be hard to forgive, but we have to make an effort. You have to remember, we have to forgive others if we want to be forgiven by the Father.
5. Talk It Out
Communication! I can’t begin to tell you how important communication is. My husband and I have had our struggles when it comes to communication on both our parts, but it is something we work on very hard. We have 1 day a week where we really check in on each other, see how work is going, goals, the household, anything we need to talk about. And sometimes the talk is fun and nice, and other times…it is not. But it’s important to talk. Even if you fight, talk it out. Don’t yell, name call, or anything else. Walk away and breathe and come back if you have to.
6. Keep Dating
People make up excuses not to date their spouses anymore. They say they can’t because of kids, because of work, or it is too expensive. Or people feel like they don’t have to chase anymore because they’re married and that’s wrong. The chase is adventure and it is the foundation of desire. My husband and I started dating once a week. Sometimes we go out and go shopping, get coffee, go to dinner or sometimes we stay in and order in or cook together and watch a movie. Sit outside with your favorite beverage and look at the stars. Go on a walk and hold hands. Keep dating. A great way to do this also is find out each others love language.
8. Respect and Desire
Husbands need respect to feel loved. They have to know they’re enough and if you’ve read Wild At Heart you understand this. Women need to feel beautiful and desired to feel loved, again if you’ve read Captivating: Unveiling The Mysteries Of A Woman’s Soul you will know what I’m talking about. So you have to learn how to how to do that for each other. And that isn’t to say women don’t want to feel respected and men don’t want to be desired. But the deepest part of men and women crave certain things because of how God made us!
9. Keep Your Marriage Spicy
I mean this! Have fun with each other. Be silly! Be spontaneous! And well… have some “grown up time” with your spouse. God intended sex to be a beautiful thing between husband and wife. And studies even show people who have regular sex are happier. That’s not to say there are certain times where other types of intimacy isn’t needed. Some seasons cuddling is all you need. Some seasons you need tender kisses. But always keep some kind of touching and intimacy.
10. Grow Together
Never stop growing together. Do things together. Go grocery shopping, do hobbies, go on a trip, learn together. Just learn and grow together. My husband and I take time to learn stuff together. He teaches me about protection and first aid and I teach him about cooking and home remedies. My husband taught me to shoot and drive and I taught him about credit cards and nutrition. And sometimes we learn new things together. We read together, play games together, and spend time with one another. Quality time to grow and cultivate your marriage is important.
There Are Other Things That You Can Do Before Marriage To Keep It From Being A Prison
There are a few things you can do even before marriage to ensure your marriage is good and is successful before you get married. These things are:
- Work on yourself first. You cannot rely on someone else to bring you joy and happiness. It fails as soon as they disappoint you. Get happy first.
- Have something to bring to the table. Both men and women need to bring things to the table whether it’s a job, cooking skills, homemaking, hunting, etc.
- Make sure your relationship with God is strong first. It will help you get through the hard times and keep your spouse from becoming an idol.
- Get to know the person first. I know people who got married way too early and didn’t know each other and ended up hating each other because they didn’t know their person beliefs, habits, etc.
- Pray before you get married. Ask God whether or not this person is who He intended you to marry. I prayed this prayer before I got married and have had a wonderful marriage since.
- If for some reason God tells you they’re not your spouse, leave them. Nothing good will come out of marrying them anymore. This can be doubt, a bad feeling, something that really makes you not want to marry them. Again, I’ve seen people who didn’t want to get married, get married, and it ended in shambles.
- Don’t let marriage change things. Your relationship doesn’t have to change with marriage. You can still have fun, be silly, date, have a spicy love life, have a calm love life, go on adventures. That’s how it should be.
Marriage Doesn’t Have To Be A Prison…It Is A Blessing
Marriage and love is work. Movies and songs lie. It’s a choice and when it gets hard it is easy to run, but putting in effort can keep a marriage healthy and happy. Just because you have some responsibilities when you get married does not mean your life is over. Rather, it starts a new chapter to an exciting chapter! Marriage does serve a purpose and it’s to not only populate the world, but to makes a vow before God to be beside someone whether it is thick or thin. And I’m sure you can argue that you don’t need marriage to have that, but that is nothing more than keeping one foot out the door and further destroying the beautiful act God intended for us. So, don’t let propaganda like the video above deter you. It’s just that…propaganda. Marriage is beautiful and one of the most special and wonderful bonds you can have in this life. So, I hope this helps and pray that God blesses your marriage!
More Posts About Marriage From Homemaking From God
- Don’t Air Your Dirty Laundry For The World To See.
- Here Are 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Husband.
- Learn Your Love Language And The Love Language Of Your Spouse.
- How To Reconnect With Your Spouse.
- How Men And Women Are Different And Why It Is A Good Thing.
- What Submission Means And The Misconceptions Of Being
- Beware The Sickness Creeping Into Marriages.
What do you think? Do you think marriage is not a prison or do you disagree?
