Are you feeling emotionally drained? I know I am, and this is going to be a personal post. I think I will talk about what happens when you’re feeling emotionally drained, how it affects you physically, and spiritually, and what to do about it.
Am I Feeling Emotionally Drained And Overwhelmed?
Yes, the answer to that is yes. I am so emotionally drained, and tired, and frustrated, or I should say I was. It took me some time to realize that I was indeed emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained though. And before I realized it, I thought I was just tired. But I started to get more resentful, angry, and a lot less joyful.
There wasn’t as much joy in my life and I wasn’t doing the things I once did. I started having nightmares again, and I took no pride in anything, being a homemaker, taking care of people. I got into the cycle of self-pity and nihilism which is a terrible place to be.
So, what does it feel like when you’re feeling emotionally drained and how does it differ from being tired?
What Do You Feel When You’re Emotionally Drained?
So, I confused feeling emotionally drained with feeling tired and depressed. There were other symptoms, but I just assumed they belonged into one of two categories as mentioned before. So, what are the symptoms of feeling emotionally drained and emotionally exhausted?
- Lack of motivation
- Trouble sleeping
- Irritability
- Physical fatigue
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Absentmindedness
- Apathy
- Headaches
- Change in appetite
- Nervousness
- Difficulty Concentrating
- Irrational anger
- Increased cynicism or pessimism
- Sense of dread
- Depression
You may see changes at home and at work. You start failing to meet deadlines, you start putting in less effort, your house is just clean enough. You’re just giving enough to family and friends, and maybe you start getting mad at them for not leaving you alone.
Why Do I Feel So Emotionally Drained?
Now you’re probably wondering why you’re feeling emotionally drained and how you got there. For me personally, I wasn’t taking care of myself emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually.
We had moved over counties, my husband got transferred and it was a great opportunity, and something we prayed for, for a long time.
Turns Out Life Is Hard…
But turns out, moving is a major life change, and it is hard and expensive. And while we were moving people were so excited they wanted us to do all these things with them. And afterwards there were people here, we were going places, family was staying for long periods and moving near us, and I’m an introvert.
My husband has been dealing with some things and he needed extra love, which is okay. I love him till the end of time and will give him as much as he needs. Plus, there are bills and work, and prices are going up, the world has gone mad.
It gets tough, especially when you try to shoulder it alone because you’re running away from God and you’re afraid of burdening everyone.
And you don’t always feel like you can turn to people all the time. It’s always “It could be worse.” “It’ll get better.” “If you had an insert scenario it would be worse.” Or it will be like a competition to see who has it worse.
People Need Understanding…
I never understood why people do that. I’m not going to judge or blame them. We live in a me oriented society where we talk more than we listen. And sometimes I think their helpful gestures can get overlooked considering most of us want to fix problems, we want to tell our stories of suffering in hopes we can help.
But sometimes people just need to be heard. They need someone to listen to them and tell them what they’re feeling is okay, that they deserve a break, that what they’re feeling matters.
And sometimes they need tough love. I don’t have a lot of Christian friends and I wish someone would have told me to pick up my Bible and to get on my knees.
This is my long way of saying life can get to you when you are running from God and when you feel isolated.
What To Do When You’re Feeling Emotionally Drained
Believe it or not, just sleeping a little extra or taking a day off doesn’t always do the trick. If it does, that’s great, but for this last low I was in… it didn’t matter how much I slept and it didn’t matter how many days I took off. Sometimes you need more support and changes.
1. Turn Back To God
First and foremost, go back to God. You can’t fix this alone, and it’s cruel to expect someone else to be able to fix it for you. God is really the only one who can refill your well. The funny thing is, I knew this. But I actually came across something that made sense.
Please don’t think I’m dumb, but you know in the New Testament all the times Jesus went away from everyone to pray.
I always thought He did it because, well, He was the Son of God. Set a good example. He had a lot of pressure and maybe needed to talk to God throughout all of it. And I’m sure He did, but someone pointed something out.
Jesus prayed to have a relationship with God. Do you know what happens when we take care of everyone? It takes our energy. Did you know it took Jesus’ too? Mark 5:30 says “And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him…”
And of course, He asks who touched His garments.
What does Virtue In Mark 5:30 Mean?
According to biblestudytools.com virtue here have multiple meanings:
The first:
It was used in a sense of manly power, valor or efficacy- manly strength or excellence.
The second:
It was commonly used in the sense of a mighty work, a miracle.
So, we can see in Mark 5:30 KJV that they meant a sense of power of “miraculous energy or influence”
I’m not saying we are Jesus, but Jesus also rested, and so should we. It takes a lot of energy to take care of people.
In John 4:5-6 we see Jesus rested. At Matthew 8 we see Jesus taking care of people, healing people, traveling, lots of people, and Jesus slept.
Jesus took time to pray, sleep, and rest, and so should we. No shame.
2. Go To Someone
You can’t do everything alone. I know it’s tempting to try to do it all alone, but you can’t. We are made to be around people, something I personally struggle with.
- 1 Corinthians 12:26
- Romans 12:15
- Matthew 18:20
- Ephesians 4:32
Those are some that tell us to be with one another, help and love one another. So, don’t hide. Go to someone who will listen, weep with you, and love you.
First and foremost, go to God, then your spouse, and then anyone else. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to be open, and to cry. You’re not a burden and you can’t shoulder everything.
3. Have A Snack and Get Some Rest
This is my favorite saying now, mainly because it’s kind of from the Bible. And I’m not making fun or light of it, but it reminds me how much just a snack, some rest, and a little time to yourself can make a big difference.
1 Kings 19:5-8
Elijah wasn’t in a good place. He did great things for God, but he still wasn’t in a good place and requested that God take his life away.
Elijah fell asleep under the juniper tree and an angel woke him and fed him. This happened twice before Elijah felt good enough to do what God asked of him.
I’m no Elijah, I like to think I’m on the narrow path and I’m trying to do what God asks me, but I’m not Elijah. He needed a break and so do you. Take one.
I know you may feel like everyone relies on you, but people will be okay for 1 day, 1 hour, whatever you can get for yourself. I know it can be hard with kids, but boundaries are important. Kids do not rule the home and they are not idols, they can play quietly for a couple hours. Spouses can take care of dinner or clean up the kitchen.
They may not do it the way you do it, but embrace the help.
Or let the house be a mess for a day. It’s okay. Just rest.
4. Reach Out To A Professional
If you still find yourself not being able to recover even after you do all this, it is okay to reach out to a therapist or a counselor at your church. Sometimes we wait too long and end up with burnout, which I’ve talked about before. But they can help you sometimes see the things that are contributing to the problem and help you find other ways to solve it.
5. Pour Back Into You
Us as women have a tendency to pour and pour and pour. And we go back to God to refill and we pour and pour some more. And that’s okay, it’s okay to put others first, we’re supposed to. But we aren’t supposed to be neglected. We need others pouring into us as well like our spouses and friends.
Ask for help when you need it. Ask for a joke to brighten your day. Get together for coffee or a meal. Yes, I mentioned earlier to seek someone to talk to. But sometimes a fun day with the girls can be what you need. Maybe a romantic date with your spouse over a weekend away from everything….
So make time for them. It can help.
6. Start Making Time For You During The Day
Yes, some time off of everything is great. It really is. But we need more than a break every couple of weeks. We need to make time for ourselves. That can include:
- Waking up early to pray in silence
- Waking up early to enjoy coffee and the sunset
- Working Out
- Getting your nails done every month
- Going for a walk
- Taking a short afternoon nap
Whatever you need or want, but you deserve something small, just a small chunk of time dedicated to you only.
7. Get Up and Get Going
And the hardest part is, get up and get going. Stop with self-pity. It’s so easy to fall into that trap of emotion and sadness and anger and woe as me. But if you wallow in it too long, it consumes you. It is of the enemy and a useful tool to keep you from moving forward with God’s intended plan.
It’s easy to sit and watch TV and not get dressed or lay in bed and sleep and cry. But at some point, even though it is hard, even though it hurts, you have to get up.
Make your bed and you can do anything. Then shower. Then get dressed. Real clothes, even if it’s jeans and a ratty t-shirt, but get dressed for you and your family.
Self-pity is self-destruction, don’t get caught up in it’s trap.
You Don’t Have To Keep Feeling Emotionally Worn Out
All things pass, and I know it sucks hearing “the sun shines after every storm.” But it does. It may not always feel like it when you’re at your lowest, trust me. But you have to keep hope, keep moving towards God and in life.
We go through seasons and some are good and some are bad, and it’s okay if it is a bad season. Jesus never said we’d never suffer, we will. Suffering is a blessing though, because we come out stronger with a new testament that can help someone else.
You are a wonderful child of God, beautiful and fearfully made. Sin and Satan have no hold on you. You will rise above this season and put on the mantle of thankfulness, because you are so loved and blessed.
Even if you don’t feel it, you are wonderful.