Thanksgiving is a great holiday, but how do you deal with Thanksgiving drama with all the people like: family, friends, and in-laws? Thanksgiving is a people holiday, a day where we all gather together in one place to enjoy a great meal, and be thankful for all the blessings in our life. But not everyone always gets along and this can lead to hurt feelings and drama.
Thanksgiving With Family, Friends, and In-Laws
Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday where we remember to be thankful for every blessing and gracious to God. We are blessed enough to have people over and have a lovely dinner no matter how big or small the meal may be.
It should be a day of laughter, kindness, and joy. However that isn’t always the case.
Stereotype of Family Drama During Thanksgiving
There is a stereotype that you see in a lot of movies and TV show. That Thanksgiving, or any holiday where the family gets together, drama ensues.
As I’ve said before, all stereotypes have some truth to them and come from somewhere. That’s because, not all friends and family get along. It’s the sad truth, but it is true unfortunately especially in this day and age.
Family Drama During Thanksgiving
Whether it is siblings fighting, cousins fighting, parents overstepping, In-laws disrespecting, there are a lot of actions that can happen or words said that can leave people with hurt feelings, upset, and angry.
Especially in an era where people make it their mission to be offended and divided.
And sometimes it isn’t even disrespect or drama that causes issues. Sometimes it’s the small things, the small changes that can cause upset.
How To Avoid Thanksgiving Drama
Thanksgiving is super stressful as is, add stress from others, and sometimes alcohol if you serve it, it can turn volatile fairly quickly. So, how do you keep the peace for Thanksgiving?
1. Don’t Invite Everyone To Avoid Issues on Thanksgiving
I know we want to include everyone on Thanksgiving or we feel obligated to invite everyone on Thanksgiving, but you are not required to invite everyone.
I hate the thought of people being alone on Thanksgiving, I get it. I’m a firm believer that most people need to be shown kindness and an example to get better.
However, if there is someone in your life, who makes dinner miserable, starts fights, and repeatedly disrespects those around them, there is no reason to invite them, especially if you’ve spoken to them about their behavior before.
While I’m a fan of kindness and love, I’m also a fan of tough love, and some people may need to learn the hard way. I’m not saying be mean, but tell them that you’re sorry, but you won’t be condoning that kind of behavior this year.
They may get angry, but it isn’t fair for everyone to be miserable because of one person or a few people.
2. Avoid Sensitive Topics To Avoid Thanksgiving Conflicts
I believe in discourse and debate, I think it’s crucial to grow new ideas, change minds, and to grow as a person. However, those ideals are not held by everyone nowadays. Rather, sensitive topics tend to isolate people as most people are trialists and die-hards when it comes to their ideals.
It’s not bad to be passionate and stand firm on your principles, but it can create people to get heated. Topics to avoid would be like:
- War
- Politics
- Religion
- Social Justic
- Sexuality
- Family Feuds
- Gossip
- Criticism
There are places for these conversations, but Thanksgiving dinner isn’t one of them. And I want to clarify, we should never be afraid to talk about God and I believe in praying before a meal, but getting on to someone for not going to church, condemning their unbelief, or similar discussions are not for this dinner. Live by example and let others see God in you, give praise, but don’t condemn and fight. It’s going to do the opposite of what you want in the end.
3. Be Patient and Ready To Forgive To Avoid Thanksgiving Drama
Many of us are quick to offend even though the Bible specifically says:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
People may say something annoying, insensitive, or down right hateful, but we need to be quick to love and forgive. Not only will forgiveness help us not harbor anger and will help us not keep a record of wrong doing, but the Bible also says:
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
Also
Mark 11:25
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Now forgiving them doesn’t mean sitting there and letting the mistreat you. But forgive them and walk away.
4. Be Open To Change To Avoid Thanksgiving Drama
This is one I’m struggling with, I’ll be 100% honest. When you are apart of a new family and you have new people entering your lives on the regular, people will want to make changes to your Thanksgiving to suit them.
And it can be frustrating, feel like people are overstepping, and even breed a little resentment. Don’t let it.
Everyone is different, has different tastes when it comes to tradition and Thanksgiving food, and it’s okay to allow some changes in the way you do things. Changes may be good, but be aware if they turn out not so good, you don’t have to do the same changes next year.
It’s a holiday for everyone, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that when you’re used to doing everything a certain way. But that also brings me to my next point.
5. It’s Okay To Set Boundaries To Avoid Issues and Drama On Thanksgiving
My husband and grandmother had to help me out on this one. I don’t want to gossip, but there arose a minor issue where my boundaries were being crossed and I have a tendency, as most women do, to want to keep the peace meanwhile I was upset on the inside.
However, after setting a boundary it became a non-issue and there was an understand, so it was corrected and no longer a stressor.
Set boundaries. Don’t want people to help? Tell them. If you need help, ask them for help. Did you want someone to clean after you do all the cooking? Ask if anyone is willing. If you want people to contribute, say something.
You don’t want topics being brought up at dinner? Let people know ahead of time. Set boundaries for the cooking and dinner to help make Thanksgiving dinner run smoothly.
6. Limit Alcohol This Thanksgiving To Avoid Drama and Conflict
Alcohol is not served in all homes, but if you’re serving alcohol with dinner whether it be cocktails, wine, or beer you may want to limit it if you’re family is feisty to begin with.
Feisty families who may already be vocal, judgmental, or volatile to begin with may find the issues are exacerbated when alcohol is added to the mix.
You may think alcohol may be the answer and will make it tolerable, but a lot of the times issues can stem from it. They don’t call alcohol liquid courage for no reason, so issues may be more bluntly and pointedly spoken about when alcohol is thrown into the mix.
7. Find Ways To Keep Kids Busy To Help Keep Thanksgiving Drama Minimal
Kids are great, except when they’re not. And I know parents will argue kids are wonderful all the time, but that’s a lie. They are a blessing, but they can become angry, difficult, and frustrating little people sometimes, as can we all. But that doesn’t make us love them any less, we still love them to pieces.
But children screaming, children messing, fighting, and tattling, can cause a lot of stress.
So finding ways to keep kids busy on Thanksgiving is a must to keep all parents calm, cool, and collected.
How can we keep kids occupied?
What about:
- Thanksgiving Coloring Pages
- Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
- Make A Turkey Puppet
- Gratitude Activities For Kids
- Fun Thanksgiving Crafts
- Thanksgiving Bible Lessons for Kids
Thanksgiving Is A Time Of Gratitude And Love
Thanksgiving shouldn’t be stressful and drama filled, it should be a holiday full of gratitude and love. Regardless of where you are in life, you are blessed. You’re alive and you still have a chance to change and many of use have a great family whether it’s blood or bonded, a home, and yummy food. I hope all of you have an amazing Thanksgiving this year and that it is smooth sailing!
Do you have tips on how to avoid Thanksgiving drama this year? What are they?