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What Submission Means and The Misconceptions Of Being Submissive

Jordan

We are told in the Bible that women should be submissive. Many of us scoff and shake our heads at the mere thought of submission. In a world of feminism and strong independent women we don’t want to let go of our power. But what if our view of submissive is incorrect? Did God intend for women to be doormats? Let’s look deeper look!

Being submissive doesn’t mean you are a slave, it’s a sign of respect.

What Does Submissive Mean?

According to Google submission means:

the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

“they were forced into submission”

Google

That definition of submissive or submission is what many people think of when they think of submitting to their husbands. That they will be inferior, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen (not that there is anything wrong with this) and without a voice.

That’s the furthest thing from the truth!

Feminism has warped submission and has led women away from being submissive to not only their husbands, but God.

Feminism And Submission

I don’t usually talk about politics or social politics, however, this is something that needs to be talked about. With the rise of feminism came the rise of the independent woman. Over time, it has morphed from women having jobs outside of the home to sexual independence (promiscuity) and eventually the competition of men and finally the abuse of man.

Now, why is this important?

Well, many of us, me included, were raised to believe that men were the enemy. We were told we didn’t need men. That we were perfect the way we are and if a man didn’t see that than he wasn’t worth it. As a kid I was told to never rely on a man, always have a way out, and have a great job with money so that I would never need a man’s money.

Teaching young women those ideals teaches them that relying on anyone but themselves is bad. And society has doubled down on this by telling women that homemakers are:

So why does this all matter?

The Woman’s Curse Makes It Hard For Us To Submit To Man

Because feminism is a worldly concept that not only turns us into our own idols, but helps women embrace our curse, or punishment as I like to call it, from Genesis. And when we embrace our curse and let men fall into theirs it creates a volatile relationship that tears down the family unit and leads us further from God.

What does Genesis say about the fall of man and women?

What Does Genesis Say About The Fall of Man and Women?

So, in case you’re not familiar with Genesis and the fall of the world, we’re gonna break a few things down.

Genesis 3

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.

9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Bible Gateway

What Is The Curse of Man and Woman?

This all has a purpose, I promise! So man’s curse was not only burden and death, but notice something in the verse while they were about to eat the fruit. It didn’t say that Adam was in another part of the garden. It didn’t say she went and found him. Which leads many to believe that Adam stood by while the serpent convinced Eve to eat the fruit. Passiveness. Adam was passive and that’s something we see nowadays amongst men.

And not only is man passive, but women are aggressive.

“…thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

We will want to rule over man and our husband’s. Because of this you see many homes where woman are the boss. If things don’t go exactly our way women tend to get angry and treat their husband’s like oafs because everything isn’t OUR way, because he is stepping out of OUR lines.

And this is what feminism embraces.

Women ruling and when men step out of line, scream at them, ruin them, and abuse them or convince women we don’t need them because they’re worthless to us.

So, between our curse, feminism, and society, why would any of us want to submit?

What Does It Mean To Submit To Your Husband?

The Bible doesn’t say we are to be voiceless doormats. Submission isn’t being a slave. Rather, in the Bible, submission means we as women let go of that control and take a step back so our husband’s can lead.

But Jordan, doesn’t that mean we will be inferior?

Absolutely not!

Rather, we support our husbands. We have an opinion, a voice, and our husbands as leaders should listen to those opinions, but in the end he makes the final decision for the family.

We Are Our Husband’s Ezer Kenegdo

Genesis 2:18 tells us we are man’s Ezer Kenegdo. It is often translated into help meet, but also used a few more times in the Bible as a military phrase.

Because of woman’s need to be ruler, women often push away “help meet.” Who would want to be a helper when you can be a warrior?!

The truth is, we need to be both.

We are our husband’s war council, counsellor, we are his biggest supporter, strength only after God, and help him through the battles of life while fighting the struggles beside him whatever they may be. We are also the force pushing from behind while God leads in the front.

This is what it means to submit. It’s respect, it’s fighting against our flesh and punishment of Eden, and it’s the helping and counseling of our husbands.

The Bible says men and women are equal.

The Bible Makes Man and Woman Equal

Looking at the Old Testament. There were a lot of things that would raise anyone’s eyebrow when it came to women. A long time ago, things were a lot different. However, the Bible has always made it clear that children of God are equal in His eyes.

But that doesn’t mean we are exactly the same. Men and women are different. However, no one is inferior or superior. And we can see this shown in Galations 3:26

For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

Bible Hub

So why does this matter? It matters because when you read further it says:

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

 And if ye be Christ’s, then are ye Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Bible Gateway

We all, regardless of status and sex, receive God’s promise as long as we have accepted Christ as our Savior.

A Godly Home Is Equal But We Have Different Mantles To Take Up

A Godly home and a Godly relationship will last. A woman will submit to her husband and her husband will lead. But neither one is superior or inferior in God’s eyes. However, they do have different mantles to take up.

Women are to take a step back and support her home, work for her home, take care of her family, community, and to teach other young women.

Men are to love their wife like Christ loves the church, to honor them, love them, and delight in them. To lead their wife and family, to not be cruel to their children but to lead them and other young men to Christ.

There is a lot more to both roles, but now that you see the dynamic of what a Godly relationship should be, doesn’t it seem a little different than what the world says submitting is?

You Are Not A Slave When You Submit To You Husband

You are equal, but different than your husband, with a different role. And that’s okay. We were never meant to be the same. But this idea that submission is being forced into silent abuse is a way Satan has twisted God’s word based on perverse ideals the world has jammed down our throats since many of us were children.

Submission is respect and taking your role as Ezer Kenegdo which is one the most blessed positions in my opinion. I like the idea of being a war council, a counsellor, a helper, lover, healer to my husband. I like the fact he is willing to face the world, God leading him in the front, and me giving him support from the back.

We are a team. A team cannot have 2 leaders butting heads or someone who is superior while everyone is inferior. It never works out. A team only succeeds when everyone gives and takes. There is one leader and one support.

And there are times when our husband’s are away that we will have to be the lead. And that’s fine. But to not allow your husband to lead is to disrespect and emasculate him, even if neither of you realize it. And when you throw down your feminine mantle that God gave you to take up man’s mantle, it leaves women and men both miserable and fighting like we see so often today.

Women not submitting and men not leading has left a large rift between the sexes, unfortunately.

The Damage Of Women Not Submitting And Men Not Leading

There have been a number of studies done showing young men don’t want to marry anymore. And with good reason. It doesn’t benefit them and they’ve heard horror stories from other men being abused and the court system working against them, so why would they want to?

And young women are refusing to marry young and instead are partying away their young days and sleeping around and when they’re older are surprised that it’s hard to marry.

Not to mention, we have a war. Men don’t want to help women anymore because they’re afraid of the backlash and they’ve been berated so much and women treat men like they’re bumbling idiots. It’s shown in TV sitcoms, movies, our everyday lives. And women no longer trust men not to be monsters, to stand up, or be what they need because we have seen passive men fail time and time again.

There is a war amongst men and women and everyone loses in the end. The family unit is mostly destroyed, people have stopped having kids, and marriages are failing in record numbers.

Our homes and our relationships flourish when we follow God’s design and step away from pride and the world.

Everything Succeeds When We Follow God’s Plan And Embrace Submission

When we walk with God and walk in His ways and His designs, things work much more smoothly. And there is a reason for that! Our world was never supposed to broken, men and women were never supposed to be enemies.

We were created to compliment one another. And women, I love you, but this whole “perfect goddess the way you are” nonsense has got to go. It’s time to swallow your pride, let go of your iron fist, and let your husband lead.

If you can’t submit to your husband, that shows you cannot submit to God. You have to submit to God first before submitting to your husband. And you know what…

Sure, he may fumble along the way once you get to the point of submission, he may even suck at it at first. My husband was not the greatest with it at first and seriously struggled with it, and sometimes still struggles with it.

But the closer you get to God, the more you pray together, and really make an effort, you will see your relationship with God blossom, but with each other blossom. You will be stronger than you ever know and the amount of fights, annoyances, grievances, and bitterness will fade away.

Don’t get me wrong, we will in a broken world, so fights will happen. But things are so much more smoothly when you work with God’s design of man and women rather than fighting against it.

Want To Know More About God? Check out these Sermons from Homemaking From God:

What do you think about women being submissive to their husbands?

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