In order to make changes in your life you have to want to get better. I know that’s unpopular to hear, but whether you want a change in life, your weight, your health, mental health, you have to want it. We are often told our past dictates our future and that we’re all victims and we have to accept our positions, but you can change your future and you. However, you have to want to get better and most people really don’t want to.
Want To Get Better? It’s Up To You
We have a tendency to stay in a rut. And once we hit that rut we get comfortable. The worst part is, we get comfortable whether it is good or bad. Worse yet, we are told by society that you’re stuck this way. Whether its depression, anxiety, you’re not doing well in school, work, you’re overweight, you’re underweight, etc we are told the same things.
We’re lazy, failures, there’s nothing we can do. That it is our lot in life to know failure and pain. It’s how we grew up, it’s the politicians fault, it’s religions fault, the schools fault, our parents, our friends, the people who disagree with us, it’s always someone else’s fault, but never our own. Never the result of our own actions or ignorance.
Grant it, there are times where we do require intervention and people’s actions can effect us, however, making good decisions, getting help, and how you react to people and the trauma left is on you. Now, I’m not without empathy or pity. I’ve suffered my own trauma and own problems, but I’ve learned over the years that you have to want to get better.
Your Past Doesn’t Define Your Future
Most psychologists believe that your pasts does influence your future. And that’s true to an extent. However, this idea is all too often a crutch for people.
- “I grew up poor so I don’t have the same opportunities so I will always fail.”
- “I didn’t get good grades so I’m a failure and can never get a better job.”
- “My family is fat so I will be fat.”
- “A lot of people in my family have been sick, so I’ll be sick.”
- “I was treated badly as a child or in a relationship and so everyone will treat me that way.”
And often times we are told the same things. Because x happened this is why y is happening. And it’s not really our fault and we try to “heal” and most times our attempts at healing are nothing more than coping mechanisms, venting, medications, or staying the victim. Most of us really don’t want to get better. We want to be validated in our pain. Pain is easier than joy after all.
Not Everyone Believes That The Past Dictates Your Future
Dr. Benjamin Hardy is a psychologist and author that believes the past doesn’t define your future and that you can rewrite your story. It’s the power of the mindset that shapes your future. And he is right.
He also focuses on how understanding your future self can help you make the decisions needed to better your life and reach your goals.
I have to agree with this mindset. For so long we have given people reasons to fail and we need to start giving people the truth so they can succeed. However, it’s important for the person to want to get better. You can go through the motions all you want, but you cannot actually be healed unless you want to get better. But you also cannot do it alone.
You Are Only A Victim If You Allow It
We have created a social status for victims. There are legitimate victims who suffer and need help. And there are those who turn themselves into victims and refuse to move past victimhood. And for some reason we have given them status and have glorify them.
No one is required to change because they hurt or trigger you and the truth isn’t racist, fatphobic, bigoted, or any other -phobic. Being overweight is dangerous. Just because it’s the norm in a culture doesn’t mean it’s right. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Depression isn’t permanent. It’s caused by circumstances and also our health. Just because 1 person didn’t treat you right or love you, doesn’t mean everyone is out to get you. If your family was full of people who broke the law, that doesn’t mean you have to follow in their footsteps.
Common sense is no longer common and no longer grows in everyone’s garden. But all you’re doing is hurting yourself if you stay where you are currently. Picture where you want to be and start making those decisions to get there. Every action may it be small or big will have a consequence. We need to start being honest with people and helping them move forward.
If You Want To Get Better You Have To Trust God
Regardless of how you want to get better whether it’s mental health, weight loss, a better job, making friends, etc… you have to rely on God. There is no healing without God.
When we are hurt it’s easy to turn our back on God. After all, why would He allow these things to happen? Why would He allow us to go through these trials? Sometimes to strengthen us and other times He requires us to rely on Him because we live in a broken world. And we have free will. That free will isn’t always used the best and we do suffer the consequences of our actions.
Plus, we are supposed to grow. God never wanted us to sit idle and twiddle our thumbs. That doesn’t mean we focus on work based faith, rather, we rely on Him and move with Him.
What do I mean? When you’re hurt or struggling you have to trust or learn to trust that God has a plan for you that is good. That He will lead you, love you, cover you in grace. Only then can you move forward through the pain and through struggle because you trust God. When you trust God and accept His grace and His will, your life will show it. People will see Him in you, but your life will go much smoother.
Does that mean everything will be great? No. Life is full of struggle and trials. But nothing is impossible with God.
But bring your struggles to God, lay them at His feet, and pray without ceasing. He will lead you out of the rough waters.
Don’t Stay Where You Are
You are not who people say you are. Your past does not define your future. The way you react to others is on you, not others. And you have to want to get better, and you don’t need to go at it alone. Trust God, seek the proper help, and keep that desire to do better and get better.
You can achieve great things, but you won’t ever soar if you are standing still. And people need to be told that.
More Ways To Better Yourself and Help Your Relationships Grow From Homemaking For God
- Marriage is not a prison sentence.
- Why Are Dads Important?
- What Submission Means and The Misconceptions of Being Submissive
- Here Are 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Husband
- Don’t Air Your Dirty Laundry For All The World To See
- 7 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Emotionally Worn Out
- Beware Of The Sickness Creeping Into Our Marriages
- Easy Conversation Is Important To Keep A Relationship Alive
- Why It Is Important To Make Time For Friends
- Reasons You Should Get Up And Get Dressed Everyday
- Learn Your Love Language And The Love Language Of Your Spouse
- You Need To Go To War With Yourself
Do you want to get better? What kind of things are holding you back?